Reasons, not excuses

Someone posted a link to my post on the Kahui twins situation, An Excuse For Racism, on this thread at Real Women, resulting in some interesting comments, in particular the following from Grace:

This person [that would be me, span, dear readers] is blaming society, the lack of free help (bollocks), low wages... how about the weather? Or power cuts???? Or simply bad parents and a dysfunctional family? Morals, empathy, a sense of right and wrong and a bit of responsibility - they don't cost anything. The contraceptive pill doesn't cost a heck of a lot, either, especially if you have a community services card. I'm presuming these child murderers know how babies are made? And that they cost money once they are born? Or do people who live in poverty not realise this? If you can't afford to look after your babies, don't keep having them!!! Common sense, no matter what colour your skin is, don't you think? I wonder if this person thinks the mother of these murdered babies should be allowed to go on and have more babies?
No more excuses - they're starting to sound quite hollow.

I have these questions for Grace (and I will post a link to this post on Real Women's forum, for them to see) - how does a family become dysfunctional? Why are parents bad? How is it that some people lack a sense of right and wrong, or an ability to act responsibly? And do you realise that there are women out there who don't have the kind of choices about their bodies and their reproductive health that I might?

Money makes a difference to people's lives - it takes off the pressure about where to live, how to pay the rent, how to pay the power/water/food bills. It means you can save up a bit and buy second hand appliances, instead of having to go for expensive (and often debt-inducing) hire purchases. It gives you independence from those around you (as mentioned in my original post) and the ability to break away from the bad eggs in your life. Living on a low, fixed income, is not an excuse for abuse, but it is one possible reason that families end up under stress and abuse thus becomes more likely.

Fey Hag made a comment later on in the Real Women thread, that really sums up the point of my original post (whether she meant it to or not):

I would like to point out there can never be an excuse for killing.
There can be reasons why it could happen.
If we ignore those reasons we are part of the problem.
Face them & we can be part of the solution.

Carl made the following comment on my original post, which also gets to the nub of things:

I think the key is whether we want to stop it happening again, or whether we just want a chance to yell at disadvantaged people.

To further expand on my original post and my views on the matter, if the reason that the Kahui twins died is because their family is Maori, or the family's main source of income is from benefits, then what do we do next? I don't believe these are the reasons, but if they were, how do we deal with it?

Do we castrate all Maori/beneficiaries? Do we forcibly adopt their children out (to white families not dependent on benefits of course)? Do we sell them only food with contraception in it? Do we end all benefits, to anyone, regardless of circumstances, as everyone on one is bound to turn into a bad egg sooner or later? These are the kinds of solutions racists, eugenicists and those who have little empathy for others propose, in my humble opinion.

As I said in my original post, I am not denying that there are cultural elements behind abuse. I personally believe that the existence of s59 of the Crimes Act sends a bad message to parents; that they can hit their children with quite a high level of immunity from prosecution. (And yes I'm aware that Tony Milne got totally scragged for his post on this point.) I have also witnessed the attitudes of many people to violence within a relationship - that it's "just a domestic" and therefore no one else's business (a post on this is coming soon). These are just two examples I can think of, from New Zealand's mainstream culture (mainly informed by Pakeha culture), that I believe signal that there is in fact a high level of tolerance for violence within the family. Other cultures, including Maori, no doubt have their own values around child abuse, some against it and some for it. The cultural background is certainly a part of the mosaic that forms the reasons for child abuse, no argument from me on that.

But it is just one part, and I believe a relatively minor factor. If the main reasons for child abuse are the kind of reasons I was discussing in the comment thread to An Excuse For Racism (things like poverty, alienation, transience, the stigma attached to seeking help or being helped by agencies like CYFS and Work & Income, a history of family violence, substance abuse in the household, unemployment, etc) then solutions can be found. Not easy ones, but none the less, the abuse rate can be lowered.

Am I just being naive, and want the reasons to be poverty-based rather than the race- or beneficiary-based, because the former have more palatable solutions? Or am I actually correct, that it is the kind of life people are leaving and the history that has shaped them, rather than anything hard-wired in them, that causes most cases of abuse?