The leftward and other blatherings of Span (now with Snaps!)

Saturday, March 26, 2005

spam for Africa

Most of the voluminous spam I get just gets deleted without much attention. I'm really looking forward to getting a "proper" email address sometime later this year, with a provider who has anti-spam filters in place before it gets to me. My hotmail address gets far less spam than my freenet address, even though it is the hotmail one I use for internet stuff most of the time. Go figure.

But once in a while something jumps out at me that is a little bizarre. Earlier this year I posted what I consider the Perfect Spam. And now I have an email from none other than the Future King of England (see below).

Think I might just follow this one up (in the manner of Mr Bhatnagar)...

Dear Friend,

My name is CHARLES WINDSOR, I am the credit Control manager in a bank here in United Kingdom. I am contacting you of a business transfer, of a huge sum of money from a deceased account. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that everything has been taken care off, and all will be well at the end of the day. I decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

PROPOSITION;
I am the account officer of Mrs. Beverly Grant who died along with her husband and other passengers on board with egyptian airline 990 in 31st of oct, 1999. Since her death, none of her next-of-kin have come for claim for this Money, because none of the relations knows that she has an account in our Bank. (May her soul rest in peace). We cannot release ! the fund from her account unless someone applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Upon this discovery, I now seek your permission to have you stand as a next of kin to the deceased, as all documentations will be carefully worked out by me for the funds (US$15,000,000.00) to be released in your favor as the beneficiary's next of kin.

Because after four years the money will be called back to the bank treasury as unclaimed bills and the money will be shared among the directors of the bank, so it is on this note I decided to seek for whom his/her name shall be used as the next of kin/beneficiary to this funds rather than allow the bank directors to share this money among themselves at the end of the year.
It may interest you to know that we have secured from the probate an order of Mandamus t! o locate any of the deceased beneficiaries. Please acknowledge the Rec eipt of this message in acceptance of our mutual business, endeavorto furnish me with this following information if you are interested.

1. Direct Telephone and fax numbers. For our personal contact and mutual trust in each other. Upon your acceptance I shall send you a copy of my International passport or driver's license for more confidentiality and trust. I shall be compensating you with 35% of the total money on
Final conclusion of this project for your assistance, while the balance 60% Shall be for me for investment purposes and the remaining 5% shall be for expenditure that mightbe incured during the transaction.

Because I intend to retire after the conclusion of this transaction. If this proposal is acceptable by you, please endeavor to contact me immediately.

Do not take undue advantage of the trust I have bestowed in you, I await for your urgent mail to my personal email address:
charleswindsor@myway.com

Regards,
CHARLES WINDSOR

2 comments:

Kakariki said...

I got one from Paul Adams the other day!

span said...

gosh, me too! we must be spam twins, spooky.

Charlie hasn't responded to my email yet, sigh. I guess he is pretty busy with wedding stuff though. Maybe after the honeymoon...