the politics of using the C word
(By special request from Em, and proof that in fact my mother does not read this blog. That i know of. And if she does, she certainly won't anymore)
I'm a bit of a prude when it comes to swearing. I had a horrible formative experience when I was in Standard 2 - Flang (who in fact I am still friends with despite this) dared me to say "fucking bitch" three times at her. I did and she promptly went and told our teacher (the fearsome Mrs Outhwaite I believe), resulting in my experiencing the verbal equivalent of being bent over and caned in front of the whole class. After that I swore (hah hah) off cussing forever.
This lasted until I was in my late teens - student politics really broke the barriers down ("darn" really doesn't cut it at 1am when you are trying to stick posters up and they won't adhere to the concrete) and these days I have quite the potty mouth, even at work (where swearing is largely acceptable). But, unlike some of my workmates (yes you R) I stop short of using the C word. In fact I can still count the number of times I have said it (13 as of writing this). I suspect my practice of keeping count is rather revealing too.
But should I really be that concerned about it? The Man in the Comfy Chair thinks it's hilarious that I'm reticent about this. My mother of course has only heard me use the F word a handful of times and all when I have been very upset, so she forgives me. She has a very firm position on use of the C word, as I discovered when I mentioned it in passing on the weekend. I remember well her concern when I was doing a project on the Commonwealth Games back in Intermediate School - I was going to paint all the O's in to the section titles with gold paint, and of course Medal Count didn't quite read like that as I was leaving the gold until last...
So enough background, time to get down to the guts of the matter.
There is a school of thought that the taboo nature of the C word is in fact patriarchal and denies women the right to talk about their reproductive organs in common parlance. On the other hand the fact that a word that merely describes a female body part is so offensive could be oppressive in and of itself.
In the late '90s the Women's Rights Officer at AUSA at the time Anita Treefoot (who went on to host Queer Nation) organised a women's art exhibition she called "Cuntasia". This was a bid by her to replace the C word in its rightful place; as a word that celebrated the vagina and it's importance to women, rather than as an insult to be hurled at particularly annoying types. At the time I thought this an admirable attempt on her part, and I remember referring to the exhibition by name at every opportunity. But I still didn't really use the actual objectionable word.
Myself I'm a bit torn. At the same time as I really like effective four letter words that you can spit venomously at people (even behind their backs) I am constrained by my up-bringing, and my PC concerns that by using the C word in a negative manner I am in fact contributing to a culture that defines sex and sexuality, in particular that of women, as dirty and bad.
Thoughts?
6 comments:
A word, in and of itself, is devoid of meaning. It's a collection of letters or a collection of phonemes. Any meaning of a given word comes from its context, the intent of the speaker/writer, and the prejudice of the listener/reader.
I would be considerably less offended if someone called me "a fucking good cunt" than if someone called me "an incompetent idiot" or "a bit like Winston Peters, only taller and uglier".
People obviously do use the word cunt as a pejorative. I personally don't connect that usage of the word with the female genitals, as I don't have a bad opinion of said genitals (quite the opposite, truth be known). There are plenty of words with multiple meanings, after all.
I think if you're offended by words in isolation from their context, its because you allow yourself to be. For some people (like mums) that's probably too ingrained a habit to change; but I think in the long run we'd be far better off normalising all swear words, and concentrating on the genuinely offensive.
Is it right that people are prepared to watch depictions of real or fictional war or violence on television, but are offended by a few dirty words?
Whether it is "hoo hoo" or the "c" word (as that Drew Barrymore movie - Boys on the side" suggests), it is a word that is both repulsive and empowering. I do perceive it to be beyond parlance - in that I deliberately avoid using it. And I know that it is said that in doing so there is a subtle slap against women because the male genitalia is not seen to be as so offensive in "slang". But I only ever recall using that word a couple of times, and never favourably, whereas there are plenty of opportunities and choices in using different words to describe the same thing in the right parlance.
After all, the word "ni&*er" is disgusting for the same reasons....
I think the difference is that cock is off limits for a lot less people.
People and times do change, but sometimes slowly. My father has always been quite big on no swearing at the dinner table. When I was a kid I respected that, but as I got older and I realised his idea of unacceptable words was pretty restrictive (bugger was still on it, although only at the dinner table it seemed) and I started to challenge it.
The final straw was when I said bugger at the table, in front of Ma and Pa. Dad was indignant and I pointed out that it was on telly all the time (this was around the time of the first Bugger ads) and that we were all adults now, so who was there to offend? The food? We all laughed and the mystical spell was broken.
It brings up the issue though of the sexual dichotomy around swearing. Men of my father's generation think very poorly of women who cuss seriously and men who use bad words around women and children. And yet they will accept it from other men, when no "gentler" ears are around. Does the same hold true for young men today?
Sorry that last comment was from me - my automatic log-ins seem to have switched to manual for the evening.
I don't claim the approach to swearing is consistent!
In fact it's consistency that I find interesting - double standards abound, for eg The Man in the Comfy Chair reserves the c word for men. His equivalent for women is fucking whore, even behind their backs. I suspect that this is not uncommon - bitch, slut, whore and cow tend to be about the limit for what men will call women, whereas they will be possibly more offensive about what they will call other men.
Is this just because I hang out with a strange breed of men or does this match the experiences of others out there in blogland?
My workmate R has finally got around to reading this but is too old and lazy to work out how to post. He has requested that I point out that he doesn't use the C word in fact (although he does laugh at my practice of avoiding it and keeping count).
He reckons that men shouldn't use it, but women should. Not sure quite why that is.
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