The leftward and other blatherings of Span (now with Snaps!)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

the law change i suspect all campaigners would agree on

There is one small aberration in NZ which annoys everyone it affects. Many Kiwis already comply with a sensible approach without the need for legislation, however those who do not require some mild corrective action, and I think that all my readers who have ever encountered this annoyance will agree wholeheartedly, from ACA to LibZ.

I have walked up hill and down dale in recent weeks delivering the excellent Alliance tabloid to many households in Auckland, and while I enjoy the exercise and the chance to just walk around listening to my walkman for hours and hours, there is one small veruca-like part of the whole experience.

Dear readers I am referring, of course, to letterboxes.

My fellow deliverers will know exactly what I am talking about - it is the letterbox with the hole that is too small, the letterbox that is up a small muddy hill above the pavement, or way down a driveway, or stuffed so full that it cannot take another piece of glorious electoral information, no matter how thin.

(I recall vividly Pauline Gardiner waxing lyrically on this very subject in the documentary about the Wellington Central campaign in 1996, Campaign. I remember nodding violently at this point of the film, and thinking what a sensible woman she could be when she really applied herself to the big issues.)

People of NZ address your letterboxes!! If this is not done voluntarily and universally I feel that I shall one day be forced to vote for a fascist party who promise to rectify this heinous irritation through harsh legislation involving whips, chains and compulsory model letterboxes which shall be placed no more than 50 cm from the intersection of driveway/path and pavement.

Please I beg you, letterbox owners of NZ, act now, before it is too late. Because every letterbox deliverer could one day grow up and become the politician who Fixed Our Letterboxes.

3 comments:

Kakariki said...

Yeah I'll second that. I hate the ones with the really stiff opening bits that require three hands to open while you try and get the bloody thing in without losing your hand.

I'm a proud owner of an easy access letter box!

Joe Hendren said...

Don't worry span, fascism not required - just state subsidied or council owned letterboxes. The council suposedly already look after the grass verge anyway, so why not include letterboxes in urban design plans ;)

Ghet said...

We live two blocks from uni, so my prime requirement in a letterbox is the durability to withstand the average drunken student's attention span.

But I do have an easy-access aperture.