The leftward and other blatherings of Span (now with Snaps!)

Friday, May 27, 2005

an alternative span

The job meme over at Vile File got me thinking a little (enough to waste ten minutes writing this anyway).

If I could be a writer... I'd pen a series of riveting and best-selling (but not sell-out) left wing science fiction epics featuring marathecat as heroine.

If I could be a bonnie pirate... I'd model myself on Jack Sparrow, with a bit of Robin Hood to boot, plus an Irish lilt and a reckless attitude on the helm. They'd call me Cap'n Red and say I was hard but fair. And of course we'd have a profit-sharing attitude to the loot.

If I could be an astronaut... I'd expose how much money is wasted on the space programme and frittered off to dodgy defence companies, who just happen to be major political contributors, through "space" contracts.

If I could be a gardener... I'd level the lawn at the front, pull out the roses in the middle, plant the pohutukawa somewhere it could stay for life, and then force the people in the section at the back to mow their ruddy lawn. Or maybe I could just set fire to it for them...

If I could be a swimsuit manufacturer... I'd start a new trend for comfort and dignity over vain attempts to impress other people who don't care anyway.

Instructions are at Bad Aunt, and I tag jarrod, who will be funnier than me, Idiot/Savant, who will be smarter than me, and Maramatanga who will be more interesting than me.

Update: Here are their responses:
- jarrod - my careers guidance counsellor got it wrong
- Idiot/Savant - If I could...
- Maramatanga - The first...

4 comments:

Make Tea Not War said...

I've (extremely) vaguely thought it would be nice to write some best selling left wing science fiction...

I've also had the idea of an alternative fantasy series featuring a heroic young lawyer princess who, through her talents at reasoning and logic, manages to conquer the dark forces of magic in her kingdom. She overseas a comprehensive program of infrastructure development and improved literacy. All the violent warriors and evil nasty war lords are forced to undergo anger management training and go through a process of restorative justice where they make amends to their victims. The dragons agree to stay in designated game reserves rather than terrorising peasants. Finally the princess renounces her royalty and turns the government of her nation over to a Parliament of democratically elected representatives. Then she goes on holiday with the sensitive yet manly former head of the palace guards...

span said...

so does He Who Must Not Be Posted About have a past as your bodyguard? :-P

I think it is interesting the lack of democracies in more "old school" sci-fi and fantasy.

Make Tea Not War said...

Well no...but I've never been a princess...

> the lack of democracies in more "old school" sci-fi and fantasy

You know I'm not sure about that in sci fi...a lot of old sci fi is dystopian facistic states but I think there might be democracies...Heinlein maybe?? Anyway, something to think about while I'm off on a lovely day long teambuilding day with my colleagues today :(

span said...

Heinlein had some funny systems of govt. Starship Troopers was kind of like ancient greece, where you only got to be a citizen if you did military service. I don't think Heinlein was totally sold on democracy somehow, the democracies he had were always heavily flawed. Plus he had that thing about ID cards (Lazarus Long always used to flee the planet as soon as that society brought them in, from memory).

I guess the attraction of the ol' Kingdom model is quite strong - or Empires, which are like uber-Kingdoms.